


As I lay dying

by An_outsider_looking_in



Category: EastEnders (TV)
Genre: Fear, Fear of Death, Gunshot Wounds, M/M, ballum - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-16
Updated: 2019-09-16
Packaged: 2020-10-19 09:20:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20654855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/An_outsider_looking_in/pseuds/An_outsider_looking_in
Summary: This is the queen vic shooting as told from the perspective of Ben, the events still occur but it's his thoughts and feelings during it. . I have never written a fanfic for a soap before, but I found this storyline particularly well done and I adore the Ballum relationship.





	As I lay dying

He felt the bullet, the short sharp agony as it grazed his side. In a state of disorientation, he fell to the floor. The feeling was excruciating as the blood began to seep out of his wound. "Mick, I need a towel to stop the bleeding" Callum demanded, Ben lay in his arms. He'd landed in his lap, he felt Callum pull him up onto his lap. He heard his voice, felt the warmth of his body as he held him. "Can you hear me? I'm going to get you out of here" Ben heard Callum, his voice became an echoey shadow in the back of the pain. He strained his eyes to look at Callum

"I'm ok, suits seen better days" Callum scoffed, trying not to laugh, he was too afraid to give into Ben's off colour humour. 

The room was fuzzy and everyone seemed to fade into the backdrop of screams and fear. Callum's hands were tight around his waist, propping him up against his body. He must have took off his jacket, as he felt Callum's bare arms against him. He began stroking his hair, the feeling of his hands grounded him. 

Hunter stood over him,

"If I leave him, he'll bleed out, and that's murder" Ben looked up at him, a small smile stretched across her face, he coughed. The fear hadn't set in yet, he just couldn't believe how calm Callum was. 

'If I survive this, I'm going to take this man on a date' he thought, a warmth came over him, a sense of safety. 

"OK, you stay there" he heard Hunter's voice, Callum held the towel over his wound. It stung as he pressed down on the bullet wound. It felt damp, the blood had seeped through his suit. 

He closed his eyes and felt a sudden sense of humility, fear and sadness as he lay dying. He thought of his daughter, leaving her. He thought of his family, more importantly he was afraid of dying on the floor of the Queen Victoria.

"Ben, how are you?" a female voice rang in his ear,

"Yeah I'm tickety boo, ain't I?" he replied, using humour to mask his sense of fear, that overcame him. It was Sonia. 

"army training, right, keep the casualty taking, what did you have for breakfast?" Ben only heard fragments, he felt himself slipping away, his body felt cold as the blood leaked out of the wound. A figure appeared in the doorway, he stared at it, trying to figure out who it was. Only he could see it.

He didn't respond. He was besotted by the shadowy figure as it stepped closer to him, a male figure. 

"Tell Lexi I love her" he eventually spluttered,

"You can tell her yourself, it's going to be ok" Callum said, his voice was shaky as he stroked Ben's hair. It was soothing, he thought as his back ached, his side was numb. The touch of Callum's hand was calming, it made him remember what he should live for. 

"I'm a bad dad, I snapped at her"

"No, it's going to be ok" Sonia said, as he leaned against her and she applied pressure to the wound.

Ben began to tell a story that he hadn't finished for Lexi, that morning, his voice was airy, he felt the air leaving his lungs. He didn't quite understand why, but something in him made him desire to finish it. 

"You'll have to finish it" he whispered to Callum, the pain of speaking was too great, particularly as his chest began to tighten. 

As he opened his eyes, he noticed Mick and Linda were looking at him, she was in his arms as they watched it take place.

There was shouting and panic, he heard Hunter, making demands. It all seemed to blend into the background.

All of a sudden his dad burst in and knelt beside him.

"Son? You're going to be Ok"

"Daddy Lion" Ben smiled and it went dark, his lungs began to collapse, he felt hands touching him. His father grabbed his hand, Callum still stroking his hair.

"What if it goes wrong"? " Sonia said

"Make sure you get it right" Phil yelled

"Don't put pressure on her, let her think" Callum interjected

"Stay with me, Ben" Phil cried

Sonia inserted a pen into his chest to allow him to breath, there was a sound of relief, he was barely conscious as he heard the voices all mould into one. Then breath, air came through the pen, his lungs filled with air. 

He felt guilty, his eyes closed. A voice in the back of his head pleaded with him. If he let go right now, he'd be remembered for being an irritant. For messing with people's lives, but. He would be with Paul however. 

His face ached as the bruises began to swell. He saw him standing behind Phil, a smile on his face. Ben barely opened his eyes, they were rolling into the back of his head. The figure was Paul, he crouched behind Phil, silent. He stared at him, this was the most surreal thing, he thought.

He could no longer feel Callum, hear the voice. He'd heard Louise, the door open and screaming. Gun fire, sirens. 

Paul leant over him, it was just the two of them again. Tears ran down Ben's face, as he lost consciousness.

Then, all of a sudden he felt a hand on his wrist. 

"Mr Mitchell? Squeeze my hand if you can hear me?" a female paramedic shone a torch in his eye, there was movement as he was loaded into the ambulance. 

He saw the strip lights as he was rushed down the hospital corridor, then darnkess. He let go, it was silent. 

**Author's Note:**

> I hoped you enjoyed this, I know that it's been a week since this storyline was on the soap but I just wanted to play around with the idea of Ben's emotional state as he lays on the floor of the queen vic. I think the new Ben has so many layers to him and is such an intricately written character.  
Hope you enjoy :)


End file.
